Kyra Haas
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Nothing Sweet About Them

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The day I discovered the true nature of sweet potatoes started innocently enough.

My mom was on a health kick where she'd decided that sweet potatoes were better than white potatoes. I decided to give them a shot. I figured they were just the slightly-less-fantastic orange cousins of the vegetable I had so long relied on for comfort and sustenance. 

Sure, I had eaten a handful of sweet potato fries here and there throughout my childhood. Nothing particularly memorable. After a bite or two of mediocrity, I would move on to the cheeseburger or go looking for the better flavored classics.

This day, however, I was making a true effort to stop viewing sweet potatoes as a knockoff of the real deal and actively accept them into my diet.

The first 23 bites of the baked sweet potato were okay. I had about three bites left. I was feeling pretty full, but it seemed silly to waste any of the orange, buttery lumps on my plate. I put bite 24 on my tongue. I chewed. I swallowed. The world itself ended for two whole seconds. 

Before I continue, I would like to give you, the reader, a moment to reflect on the orange foods in your life: chicken tikka masala, oranges, yams, carrots, sweet potatoes. Hopefully you're thinking of pleasant meals with family and quick, healthful snacks. Oh, to be in your shoes.

Now, back to the story. I did make it to the toilet. Barely. Sweet potatoes are not as sweet tasting them the second time. I have a theory that one bad experience with an orange food ruins that food forever. It's been seven years since my last sweet potato. I also refuse to eat yams, just on principle.

I am warning you now before you take one bite too many and experience my terrible fate: there is nothing sweet about sweet potatoes.

The end.

Also, this is my last blog of the semester. I don't think anyone has been reading it, but if you have, then I hope you don't think less of me as a person. Next semester, I will move on to blogging about something else. I don't want to say I'm scraping the bottom of the potato blog barrel, but I think there may be a reason there isn't another potato blog on the internet. Stay (tube)ular, my dudes.

 

 

Kyra Haas